Food for thought and no side dish please!


Being in a relationship/marriage is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to any woman and  it’s equally brilliant knowing that a man is totally into you and you are the centre of his world.

But why are some women still choosing to be the other woman and in the most unflattering term, “the side dish Even more shocking are women who have affairs with men who dumped them to marry another woman, exposing themselves to even deeper disappointment and hurt.


Just a few days ago, whilst shopping, I ran into an old acquaintance; I met this lady during my student nursing years and I have always found her incredibly beautiful and she had a really lovely personality as well. As I smiled and gave her a hug, she suddenly broke down in tears so i carried on with the hug and said to her, whatever this is, it will pass. (My favourite words of comfort especially when I don’t know what else to say). I invited her into the supermarket’s cafe so we could have a chat and clearly she needed to get some stuff off her chest.
 Then she said to me that she had been in a 2 year relationship with a married man and he promised to end his marriage after Christmas to be with her permanently! But he decided not to go ahead with it because of his children…yes you guessed it. ! In my true fashion, I blurted out, what the hell are you doing falling for a married man?Even more unsympathetically, I went ahead saying, so he eats his cake and gets to keep it too! Finally allowing her to finish her story, I soon realised that she was absolutely in love with this man and could not care what damage her action may cause to his wife and children. I just sat there completely frozen at this woman’s foolishness.

 I know they say love is blind but surely would one be too blind  to care about another woman and her children?..I  made it clear of my disapproval of her wanting this man back. i went home pondering over her and muttering what a donkey of a woman! the whole time.

In hindsight, my reaction wasn’t the best, i should have offered more comfort but this woman needed some home truth and she was far too lovely a person to waste her life this way. I was more disappointed that she would be a part of what could cause a lasting damage in another woman’s life but I genuinely felt terrible about the situation. For her it was love but for me it was idiotic.  

Here’s my opinion.
The worst thing that can happen to any woman is falling for a married man and even more damaging is expecting him to leave his family. Whatever the reason for being with a married man may be, there’s nothing positive about it.

 Most married men who cheat have no balls to leave their families and even if they do, they are most likely to stray again for another woman. It is a pattern for these type of men and it is deeply rooted, therefore never make a mistake of thinking that you will be able to tame him.

This type of relationship will slam-dunk your self esteem and you will never truly feel any self-worth or appreciate yourself as a strong powerful woman that you should be, after all there is nothing chic about being a “side dish”

Sadly many women are still in this rotten situation and I hope they will go back to the drawing boards of their lives and make positive plans. The first step to finding the right path is by rediscovering ourselves and letting go of that negative sense of identity.

 Life is full of choices and we must be clear about choosing what happens in our life stories.  

 I understand that at some point in our lives we may dabble into stupid things especially if we are not thinking clearly about ourselves and others but as long as we recognise our mistakes and nip them in the bud then we are ready to move forward.

                                 YOU ARE A WOMAN AND THAT’S VERY POWERFUL!

Have a positive view of yourself and make right choices. Thank you and God bless.

Jane xx

photo credit:  photopin

5 Replies to “Food for thought and no side dish please!”

  1. I love your straight-forward way with your words. You are saying what so many will only think. I’m really impressed with your blog (the way it looks) and the stories you are sharing. I think you will go far. Your blog is right on target. 🙂


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