I couldn’t switch off from the negative emotion I had picked up from work. I was driving home with tears in my eyes and hating all that had gone on earlier in the day; ranging from the death of a resident patient whom I had grown very fond of, inability to work smoothly and promptly as pre-planned and to the most annoying colleagues ..aaahhh… the burning anger and blazing frustration. Not even my favorite wicked dance tunes from radio 1’s DJ Annie Mac could calm me.
Nonetheless, I got home and went straight for a group hug with my family. It was a much needed hug with little hands belonging to my lovely children ,rubbing my back and calming all my tensed nerves. My au pair who has also become a valued member of our family handed me a cup of tea and a hug too….Yes I had a bad day at work and my family saw it written all over me soon as I walked through the front door.
Generally, it felt like I was gradually loosing everything that I have ever stood for since the start of my career. Watching my work ethics and standard slip away slowly and completely lost in the ocean of work chaos and madness. Although as a nurse, I have become very used to working under stress but there were always available resources and suitable work environment to help you cope. Bearing in mind that chaos is not organic to my nature. I had to learn and adapt.I love focus and routines. In fact my little ticker rejoices when I know where I am heading and when my goals are clear to me. More also, I am in my absolute element when I am competent and confident at my job.
I totally appreciate the buzz and challenge of achieving new objectives and developing myself at the same time ..that’s exactly how I roll …..but there’s nothing I despise more than feeling completely invisible in a new role where you are constantly rushing around like the crazy white rabbit off of Alice in wonderland and yet achieving nothing to make you go home and feel proud of yourself. For me, it is by mile the worst career feeling anyone can experience.
Finally, whilst relaxing with my lovely cup of tea, ( Thank God for tea, amazing stuff!) I reflected and pondered deeply on the situation;
Was this my fault or have I found myself in a place where my talent is undermined?
Could this be a projection of my own thought because I cannot stand chaos and being undervalued?
Am I too quick to judge the situation, could things improve over time?
Could I explore other options where my talents are?
And what is in this for me? Will I progress quicker or be stuck in a career rut?
I hope to make the best decision for my career development and move forward towards becoming very efficient in my new managerial role. I look forward to happier work days till I retire in a lovely little cottage somewhere in Cornwall.
Rants over at least for now…… Have a great weekend and thanks for reading my blog.
- Work experience (sellen12334.wordpress.com)
- Tips for Managing a Gap in Employment (jobs.answers.com)
- When Do We Start Career Development and When Can We Quit?? (nicoledarling.wordpress.com)