What the hell is happening to me?


I stood in front of the mirror the other day, carefully observing my reflection and also questioning how I have moved from being such an extrovert to what I have become now.
The change began last year when I started growing spiritually and it has now taken full form.

People who were once significant in my life are no longer part of my sacred circle. I have pushed them all out and life feels better. I bet they are all thinking now ” what a bloody nutter!” Lol!
I don’t actually blame them if they ever saw me that way because it’s a bizarre behaviour in a simplified perspective.

Growth is weird but vital.

Although this decluttering brought and still brings tremendous peace into my personal life, I was worried about losing these people, the negative reaction and consequently creating enmities.
People are not stupid, they always know when they are no longer wanted and that may hurt a lot, a little or not all.

Have I ever experienced this from other people? Yes of course!…I may have pushed a little to get back in but when I noticed the door of that relationship was tightly closed , I then walked away and tagged them weird…lol!
Now I understand that they were on a different journey of life which I wasn’t supposed to be a part of.

I only got to this point of understanding the situation because I am currently experiencing that shift and it has rocked my circle and connections. I was very worried about it initially and I would pray daily for friends and family members I have chosen to break away from. I wanted to prove to myself that I still loved them but would rather do it from a distance.

I dare to say that I have been blessed with a warm and friendly personality, which draws people to me but my circle has to be decluttered to allow my personal and spiritual growth.
Although It feels good and amazingly liberating, I also feel some sadness about loss of friendships and broken connections.

Fear not! I haven’t become a total loner yet. I cooked the other week with my friend Fiona and we had a great laugh.

Watch the video here

Have you ever experienced this before?
Please let me know in the comment section below.

Thank you x

7 Replies to “What the hell is happening to me?”

  1. I was never one of the popular people growing up, so I didn’t really experience the loss you did, but I did become more comfortable not having a huge circle of friends. In some ways it reminds me of those that invest their time in religion – it seems many of them are only doing it because they are then included in something – they don’t feel so apart. I actually like being apart from everything…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your comment Jonathan.
      I have always been around people all my life and I never knew that staying away from people could actually bring so much peace. It was difficult because I actually care a lot about these people but I can now breath without them in my personal space.

      Like

  2. Wow very nice . I enjoyed the reading the video all. I’m happy you collaborated . Nice food I like the way he was saying she can talk in taugles cool I wish maybe ladies pray for me too. Need food . Did u hear the food is easy to make. Thumbs up beautiful Ines waiting for the next one

    Like

  3. really i have experieneced this as a matter of fact i dnt av frnds anymore to think that one time my mom wld b so angry that i had to mny frnds.i fill like in life we ol get to this stage

    Like

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